


Being with Rick Grimes

by TWDObsessive



Series: Being Daryl Dixon [4]
Category: The Walking Dead (TV), The Walking Dead - All Media Types
Genre: Awkward Daryl, Bottom Daryl, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, First Time, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Loss of Virginity, M/M, POV Daryl, POV First Person, Shy Daryl, Top Rick, Virgin Daryl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-19
Updated: 2015-05-19
Packaged: 2018-03-31 08:09:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3970432
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TWDObsessive/pseuds/TWDObsessive
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This can be read alone or with the Being Daryl Dixon series.  Best would be to read Being Inside Daryl Dixon first then this one since this is the companion piece.  This fic tells the story of Being Inside Daryl Dixon from Daryl's POV instead of Rick's.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Being with Rick Grimes

**Author's Note:**

> Totally unbeta'd! You have been warned!

I did it. I told Rick I was ready for more. And I wasn't 'fraid when I did it neither. Probably seemed shy about it cause I know my words were jumbled. I ain't like Rick. Rick would say somethin' beautiful that sounds like poetry and shit but I just mumbled somethin' 'bout wantin' more and not knowin' what ta do. But it was enough I could tell. He knows.

It won't just be kissin' t'night. It will be everythin'. I don't even really know what everythin' is, but I want it!   
And I know Rick will make sure everythin' is ok and he'll prolly even know how to make it so I ain't scared or nervous or nothin' cause he knows how to do that.

So I spend the mornin' hunting and I ain't surprised to come back empty handed cause the last thing Rick said ta me that mornin' was not to die 'fore he could have me. And that ain't a easy task in woods full a walkers. E'ry time I's linin' up a shot, a leaf or some shit would fall b'hind me and I'd 'bout have a heart attack flippin' 'round an tryin' ta stab autumn ta death. 

After I came back I went straight for Carol. Cause the closer the night was comin' the more nervous I got even tho I wasn't scared-nervous, just nervous-nervous. I knew Carol would be able ta help. Now that I got friends, I been givin' dependin' on people a try and it ain't been workin' out too bad.

Carol smiles when she sees me cause she's always happy ta see me. She likes ta momma on me about stuff. Like tellin' me about usin' forks an shit. I don't usually listen to that one. But I don't mind her wantin' ta help me. It's nice. 

I'm grinnin' from ear ta ear when I see her cause even tho I's nervous, I's also excited. 

"Why the smiles, pookie?" She says when she sees me, "Good hunting this morning?"

"Didn't get shit," I say and she's suspicious now cause I ain't usually smilin' 'bout comin' home empty handed. She knows me and Rick been kissin'. She knows cause I tell her. Cause sometimes between nights a kissin' I can't stop thinkin' 'bout it and Carol can tell when I'm thinkin' hard 'bout somethin'. And she asks so I tell her. Plus it makes it feel more real ta talk about it. No one else knows though. 

"You and Rick doin' more than kissin?" She asks and suddenly I feel shy to tell her more like how she'd prolly see me later at the laundry basin scrubbin' two pair a cum-soaked boxers. Kissin's one thing but this other stuff ain't tha kinda thing you tell someone who's like yer momma.

"Just stuff." I smile.

"Stuff, huh? And how was stuff?" She knows I'm shy to talk too intimate 'bout details. Even tha kissin, I'd tell her about it vague. Not in detail like how Rick likes ta brush my hair back b'hind my ears and nibble on my bottom lip and 'bout the kinda sounds he makes when I lick 'gainst his tongue. I just say we's kissin'. 

"Not all stuff. But just a little stuff. Was nice."

Carol is all smiles and just waits me out to say more.

"Told him I wanna do more stuff t'night." I say as I start workin' on a thumbnail with my teeth and knowin' I'm usin' the word stuff too much.

Carol nods, still smilin'. "What kinda stuff?" she asks cause she knows I need a little proddin' sometimes. And she knows if I didn't really wanna talk 'bout it, I just walk away. I can do that and she don't take no offense ta it cause she knows tha's just how I am.

I shrug my shoulders and give her a worried look. "Don't really know," I say, "kinda was hopin' you'd know." 

She laughed and had to put her hand on my shoulder ta keep me standin' where I was and make sure I   
knew she ain't laughin' ta hurt my feelin's but cause I'm cute. 

'Fore the 'pocolyse started no one ever called me cute but now Rick and Carol both have done it. Which I don't really get. Judith is cute. Even Carl is still kinda cute sometime. Puppies are cute, course we ain't seen none a them in years. But I'm a grown-ass adult and a redneck Dixon at that. Can't figure what's cute 'bout that. 'Less Carol and Rick got t'gether an' decided "hey let's call him cute, it'll drive him nuts tryin' ta understand it." But I know better. They wouldn't really do that.

So I's still standin' there hopin' Carol will be able ta tell me somethin' bout what Rick will wanna do w'th me t'night and I'm workin' my thumbnail over so bad it's bleedin'. I take it out and look at it when the metallic taste a blood hits my tongue and Carol sees and swats at my hand. "Ya need ta stop chewin' on that nail!" She says. Ain't the first time she said it. Ain't gonna be the last neither. That I know. 

She looks me in tha eyes and says "Daryl," and that's usually how she starts when she's sayin' somethin' she really wants ta make sure I hear. "Rick will only do what you want to do. He's good to you. He's a good man. All you need ta do is what YOU want to do. What YOU like, ok? You don't gotta be nervous. It's Rick."

I nod. But I'm not sure how ta tell the difference b'tween what I want and what I think I should want and what I think he wants. I ain't even sure I know WHAT there is ta want. It gets jumbled but I try to focus on the one thing she said that made sense. "It's Rick." And that did settle me a bit.

Ain't just that I been kissin' on 'im for a couple weeks, but I been lookin' ta him way longer. Like even since tha beginnin'. I was so angry he left my brother in Atlanta. Not angry. Sad. Cause I could tell how bad he felt and frankly I knew Merle likely d'served it. But then Rick went and offered to go back ta tha city w'th me. And that was after he just found HIS kin and he 'mediately goes out with me ta look fer mine. That's a good man. And I thought then that if I ever could have real friends, I'd like to be friends w'th someone like that. And now look. We's friends and more. 

I didn't hafta worry 'bout Carol catchin me washin' drawers cause she was busy with Judith. Thought I's gonna get it done w'thout anyone nosin' round, but Maggie come over w'th a bunch a sheets ta wash. I wondered if she wasn't washin' tha same stuff out. Maggie's real nice but sometimes I'm 'fraid she'll know what I'm thinkin'. Don't know why. She just seems ta always know stuff. She cranes her neck and looks over and I know she can see what I'm washin'. 

"Thought Carol usually did that for ya." She said. 

"She's busy." I said. Wasn't mean 'bout it or nothin' but was tryin' ta keep tha conversation short. 

"Seems like a waste a time ta' come all the way over here just ta wash two pair a' drawers," she said. And damnit- it's that way 'gain like she knows somethin'. I just grunted as a answer. Sometimes that works and gets me outa talkin' ta people when I don't know what ta say. They don't take offense. They know that's just how I am.

As I'm walkin' 'way she says, "Hey, tell Rick I said hello, k? Ain't seen 'im in a while." I grunted 'gain and got out a there.

By the time I's waitin' for Rick, I's a wreck! I hear him whisper my name and come in like happens e'ry night and I's wonderin' if it was just gonna be kissin' only after all. But he comes in and the way he looks at me makes my stomach drop like a roller coaster. Like he likes what he sees. I did clean up tha room a little, maybe that's what he noticed and makes him smile.

He puts his arms 'round me and kisses me deep. "Missed you like crazy, today," he says. 

It always makes me smile when he says stuff like that and smilin' makes me self-conscious fer some reason. Carol thinks cause I don't think I d'serve ta be happy. So I kinda look away but I peak back through my hair at him and say "Me too." Because I know it'd make him happy ta hear, plus I did miss him. A lot!

And as he keeps kissin' on me I wanna get tha part over where I gotta talk and ask questions. So when he stops and looks in my eyes I blurt out "I need you to tell me what to do." I thought I was blurtin' it out but it came out more a whisper but he hears me and takes my hand and brings me to tha bed. And I'm nervous. He looks in my eyes and I know he's checkin' on me and I try to shout through my eyeballs how bad I want more. And he knows. Cause he always knows. 

I look down at his crotch. Cause even I know that's a good place to start. And he takes my hands and puts them on his zipper and button so I can take them off in my own time. I know I'm unzipping too slow, but it's like unwrapping a Christmas present when ya know yer lucky to even get just the one. You rip the paper slowly tryin' ta make the excitement last. Course that usually just ended up being socks or Twizzlers. 

After I have his pants open he pulls them and his boxers off. And that's the first time I see him. I mean, we've bathed together a million times, but ya never look directly at it. That's just common courtesy.

I don't even realize I have my thumbnail in my mouth til I taste the blood again. And he slowly pulls it away from my mouth and tilts my head up to meet his eyes. And he says "I only want to do what YOU want to do, ok? I love you. And I'll love you whether we just spend the next six months kissing or ..." He left the last word off the sentence but I know what it was. Kissin' or Fuckin'. He just didn't want to rattle me with thinkin' about that far yet.

I slid off the bed to my knees in front of him and I'm workin' up the nerve ta do somethin'. I wanna put my thumb back in my mouth but chew on my lip instead cause I'm giving myself a pep talk and saying if ya want somethin' in yer mouth so damn bad, there it is. But, Christ, I don't know how to start! Do I lick it or suck it or blow on it or fucking what? So I do the only thing I know and I look up to Rick for help, hopin' I don't have to use words and I don't cause he knows.

He says "You won't do anything wrong 'less you bite it off," and it's the funniest thing I ever heard. I wanted to laugh but was so nervous all I did was smile. And figured that was pretty good guidelines. Just don't bite it. Ok. 

Then I remember I have hands so I can start with that. I touch him gentle with my fingers a little 'fraid I'll break it. But then I remember the jackin' off I do ta my own and I know it ain't that fragile.

I get up taller on my knees to get a closer look and his cock twitches under my fingers and I feel like an idiot cause it makes me jump and I can tell Rick is holdin' back a laugh. But I know it's not a laugh at me but more a laugh like Carol earlier when she said I was cute.

"Sorry," he says. "It feels good." And I'm glad to hear that so I smile for a second then really want it in my mouth all of a sudden, like more than my thumbnail even. So I lean in and touch my tongue to the tip of it and he groans! The good kind like when we're kissing. And I feel like I'm gonna do a good job at this so I take it in my mouth and suck on it. I'm keeping an ear out listening for any sighs or breaths or gasps from Rick and everything seems ok so I try moving my mouth up and down along him. 

I shouldn't be surprised that I like it so much. Always got a thumbnail in my mouth or sucking on my fingers after dinner. So it's not a surprise that I like the feelin' of Rick in my mouth and I start licking at him and swirling my tongue. And I can hear him. His breathin' changes and he's moanin' softly and I don't even think he realizes he's doing it. But then he stops me.

"Daryl," He whisperers, "it's too good. Too good. I don't want to come yet."

I pull off and look up for direction. 

"God, you're good at that." He tells me breathlessly. And I smile cause I'm proud of being good at that but then remember I'm shy about smiling and bite on my lip.

Then he says "Can I show you how it feels?" And I think about it and when I look at his eyes they are giant and they want me. I know that. So I say "Ok."

Rick stands so I stand too and he starts to unbutton and unzip me, then looks up and asks, "Can I?"

And I say, "Yah." And I can barely catch my breath because in ten seconds Rick is gonna be touching my cock. 

Once my pants and boxers are off he sits me down on the bed and kneels in front of me. 

He takes one of my hands and puts it in his hair and tells me, "Stop me if you don't like anything, ok?" I just nod cause my mouth is dry and I already can't catch my breath.

I feel his tongue lick on me. His tongue! And I gasp and hold my breath for a second cause it's hard ta feel and breath and watch all at the same time and I HAVE ta feel and watch so breathin' gets bumped for a few seconds.

Then his whole mouth is on me and JESUS CHRIST, it's so hot and wet and good and did I just say some of that out loud?

And his tongue is swirlin' and his mouth is movin' and when I finally 'member ta breathe my breaths comin' short and fast and I know I's gonna be comin' soon and I ain't ready to do that yet but I don't know how ta stop. 

But I gotta stop cause now I want him in me. Inside. And I 'member when we's just kissin' and the first time his tongue was in my mouth and how I liked the feel of him so close he's inside and so now I want IT inside. And I feel emptiness where I know it's gonna go cause I already feel like he's missin' even though he ain't even been there yet.

Finally I remember I have hands again and one is even in his hair so I grip into it and he knows. Cause he always knows. And he pulls off a me.

"You ok?" He asks, "Want to stop? S'ok if you do. I'll still stay." And dammit he didn't quite know after all. And I couldn't blame him cause we's both wild with want and sex and feelin's and I know I'm gonna have ta use words 'fore he really thinks I wanna stop. 

"Did you want to... Get...inside me?" I manage ta spit out and I look at tha lube on the makeshift desk. Don't even know when he put that there. And when I look back at his eyes I know it's gonna happen cause his eyes... They just ain't never looked like that. Like he's gonna just swallow all a' me whole.

"Is that what YOU want?" He asks. "I think it's going to hurt a little at first."

"I want it," I say immediately. Don't even gotta think 'bout that. 

He stands up and takes his shirt off and he's full naked and in front a me ta look at. His muscles are tight and sexy and I'm so distracted at lookin' at him thinkin' he looks good 'nough ta be carved outa marble and in a museam. I'd definitely go ta that museam. But I'm so distracted I don't think about what he's probably gonna do next and he's reachin' for tha bottom a MY shirt. And says "Can I?"

And my thumb's back in my mouth and the crook a my arm is pinnin' my shirt 'gainst my chest and all I can think is- fuck no. 

He's seen tha scars. I know that. And I really don't think he care's 'bout 'em. But I do. I hate 'em and I don't like bein' w'thout a shirt and havin' em' all bein' on display showin' like I'm weak and can't protect myself. And if my shirts off I'll be thinkin' 'bout that old stuff 'stead a' thinkin' bout this good stuff that's gonna happen right now. 

Then I worry bout disappointin' Rick and I should let him have my shirt off cause it's what Rick wants. And I remember Carol sayin' that Rick don't want to do nothin' I don't want and it's Rick and it will be ok if I say no. 

"Umm... Nah. I...I Don't really want that." I say around my nail and I'm s'prised at his response. He's smilin' like crazy. Maybe he was happy cause he didn't really wanna see those scars anyway. And my feelin's ain't hurt about it or nothin' cause they're ugly and sad ta look at. So I understand. 

"Ok. Good. That's ok," He tells me.

He let's me keep my shirt on an' lowers me to my back an' grabs the lube.

He says, "I'm going to use fingers first so you get used to the feeling a little bit at a time, ok?"

I just nod. I'm getting nervous and excited and I feel Rick start massagin' on my thigh. And his finger's there and ready to go in and I stop breathin' 'gain.

I can tell he's lookin' up at me and I just keep noddin' and try ta breathe 'gain.

"Daryl, you stop me if you need to. It's ok. Ok?" He says. And his voice is deeper and sounds so sexy and I'm getting so excited for this to happen and not real nervous cause it's Rick. Then his finger slips in and no matter how prepared I thought I was, I wasn't and a awkward cry slips off my tongue. And I know Rick's gonna worry and ask if I'm ok so I just start nodding my head already 'fore he even has ta ask. 

It feels weird like how his tongue in my mouth did the first time, but I kinda like it. He moves it in and out and I breathe along w'th it. And he starts ta slip in two fingers and I want it so bad I'm pressin' back inta him ta get 'im deeper. It does hurt just a little but a good kinda hurt that I like. My eyes are squeezed shut. 

And then I don't know what happened! Rick's fingers hit somethin' and I wadn't thinkin' a' anythin' else 'cept how damn good it felt. Didn't even barely have control of my body. It had a' mind a' it's own and then his fingers pulled out a' me. And I know he's gettin' his cock ready and I am so fuckin' ready for it. 

I'm grippin' inta tha sheets with my fists gettin' ready cause even though I want it so bad, I know it will hurt a little at first cause Rick said. And I'm gettin' a little impatient. I look in his eyes and he's already lookin' right at me. "Stop me if..." He starts sayin'

"Jesus Christ, Rick. Just fuck me. Please." I moan. My voice is shaky and my legs 're tremblin'. "I want this. I want this." I keep repeatin' so he won't stop to ask 'gain.

And he presses inta me. Slow. All tha way in. Slow. I hear someone say "yes" and I think it's me.

And then he's not just in me but on me w'th his hand pumpin' on my cock and his hips thrustin' himself in an' out a' me. My whole body is tinglin' and shakin' and I don't ever want it ta stop. My eyes are squeezed shut and my heart is poundin' and I know it's comin' and God I hope Rick is close cause I ain't got no control. I try not to let go but it don't work. "Fuck, oh fuck" I say as I'm spillin' and then I hear Rick comin' too. He says "Daryl. God." And it's my favorite time I ever heard my name. It sounded like want and need and fuckin' and Rick. And I think I'll prolly 'bout cum again just from tha next time he says my name.

His cock's still twitchin' inside a' me. I look down at the mess I made all over cause I's too stubborn ta take off my shirt. But I ain't even worryin' 'bout havin' ta wash it out. I's only thinkin' a one thing. Only thing I'd prolly ever be thinkin' 'bout again for my whole life.

"How long til we can do that again?" I ask Rick.

**Author's Note:**

> So... too repetitive since it was the same scene as part three? Or was it nice to see it from both POV's?


End file.
